Q. How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Charismatic: Only one – hands already in the air.

A. Pentecostal: Ten – one to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

A. Presbyterian: None – lights will go on and off at predestined times.

A. Catholic: None – candles only.

A. Baptist: At least 15- one to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

A. Episcopalian: Three – one to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.

A. Mormon: Five – One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to
do it.

A. Methodist: – Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

A. Nazarene: Six – one woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

A. Lutheran: None – Lutherans don’t believe in change.

A. Church of Christ: They do not use light bulbs because there is no evidence of their use in the New Testament.

A. Unitarian: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your bulb for next Sunday’s service, during which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

A. Amish: What’s a light bulb?