Teed off?  Here’s something to suit you to a tea:

Darjeeling Himalayan Tea:  Organic Green or black

LOT’S WIFE: The Sunday School teacher told how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, ‘My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,’ he announced triumphantly, ‘and she turned into a telephone pole!’

GOOD SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher told her class about the Good Samaritan, and asked, ‘If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?’ A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, ‘I think I’d throw up.’

DID NOAH FISH?: A Sunday school teacher asked, ‘Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?’ ‘No,’ replied Johnny. ‘How could he, with just two worms?’
MOSES AND THE RED SEA: His mother asked nine-year-old Joey what he learned in Sunday School. ‘Our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.’ ‘Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?’ ‘No, Mom, but if I told it the way she did, you’d never believe it.’

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD: A Sunday School teacher decided to have her class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible–Psalm 23. She gave them a month to learn it. Little Rick was excited but he couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, he was nervous. When his turn came, he stepped to the microphone and said proudly, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd and that’s all I need to know.’

UNANSWERED PRAYER: The preacher’s five- year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. ‘Honey,’ he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, ‘I ask the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.’ She asked, ‘How come he doesn’t answer?’

BEING THANKFUL: A pastor said to a precocious six-year-old boy, ‘So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?’ The boy replied, ‘Thank God he’s in bed!’

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER: During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, a loud whistle from one of the back pews pierced the air. Tommy’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and after church asked, ‘Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?’ Tommy answered, soberly, ‘I asked God to teach me to whistle, and he did!’

TIME TO PRAY: A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘And do you always say them in the morning, too?’ ‘No, sir. I’m not scared in the daytime.’

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS: When one girl said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, ‘And all girls.’ This Closing soon became part of her nightly routine. Her parent finally asked, ‘Why do you always add the part about all girls?’ Her response, ‘Because everybody else always finishes their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!’

SAY A PRAYER: Johnny and his family ate dinner this Sunday at Grandma’s house. Everyone sat around the table as the food was served. When Johnny received his, he started eating right away. ‘Johnny! Please wait until we pray,’ said his mother. ‘I don’t need to,’ the boy replied. ‘Of course, you do,’ his mother insisted. ‘We always pray before eating at our house.’ ‘That’s at our house,’ Johnny explained. ‘But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook!’

The National Highway Safety Council extensively tested a newly designed seat belt. Results show accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated  below…….