India, Orissa state:
During 2008, persecutors murdered more than 500 Christians, injured thousands more, burned down homes of thousands more.

In recent months, herds of wild elephants started storming villages home to some of the worst persecutors. In one village where in 2008 August rioters looted and then destroyed Christians’ homes, while Christians fled for their lives, now, exactly one year later, at the same time of day, a herd of wild elephants emerged from surrounding jungle, and the persecutors now ran for their lives.

The elephants kicked off festivities by first smashing up a rock-crushing machine owned by a persecution leader. Then, in a kind of progressive dinner, then destroyed his house and farms. This felt so good that, not wanting to stop while they were ahead, they demolished other non-Christian homes and gardens, leaving Christian homes untouched.

People ran to the police station to report. Policemen in a jeep trying to drive the herd away were attacked and the police barely escaped.

The elephants have, as of 2009 September, destroyed more than 700 houses in 30 villages, killed five people. Nobody in this area ever saw or imagined a wild elephant herd doing this. These elephants behave unusually: smaller elephants enter a village first, scout the community, rejoin the larger herd, then larger elephants follow and do the heavy work.

Restoration India Mission says, ‘We think that it might have something to do with avenging the blood of martyrs. In fact, the fear of God has fallen on the local people, who have labeled these elephants, “Christian elephants”.’

Morale: ‘Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

WATER

#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated (likely applies to half the world population)

#2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.

#3.. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as 3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

#8.. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke
and it will be gone in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the ‘real thing’ sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle.. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:
#1. the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean engines of the trucks for about 20 years.

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water? or Coke?

10th  Place

Goes to:

9th  Place  Goes

To:

8th  Place  Goes

To:

7th  Place  Goes

To:

6th  Place  Goes

To:

5th  Place  Goes

To:

4th  Place  Goes

To:

The  Bronze

Medal Winner:

The  Silver

Medal Winner:

Her  helmet is

being worn backwards

. and

finally, here is our 2009 Women Drivers  Awards

*** Gold

Medal Winner ***

Condolence:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. ‘He would rise to the occasion even on a crumby day’. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Bill, in the picture, is 6′ 1″.  He is also 250 lbs (is this why he has to kiss a moose?).
He is standing on his 2-ft-high back deck.  Consider the moose’s size.  And, in the kiss, the moose’s juices.