Saladocalypse: Lettuce Pray
…they discovered grains, and these could be cultivated, and they were an efficient source of food, the extra could be stored, and this gave humans free time to develop other skills—e.g, agriculture, pottery, cloth-making, metallurgy--and build up whole civilizations.
Then, when we study health, nutrition and diet, we’re told not to eat so much grain, instead we munch massive salads, great bunches of leaves as do our friends the sloths, who invented nothing, not even clothes, but spend all their time devouring this inefficient food source so they have no time to develop a civilization of their own.
Next thing you know, we human will start developing body hair and stop wearing clothes. We’ll revert to grunts and screams as a form of communication—this already happens in modern music. We’ll return to climbing trees and abandon civilization. We’ll devolve into barbarians, then to animals, fish, and finally amoeba. A big crunch.
Salad will ruin us all.