* My dad's heart surgery this year was a serious matter--he never would have made it without all that blood I sold him.
Just JOKES. But on a serious note, I gained strength until I could walk short distances without crutches--quite slowly, of course. So then the physiotherapists came up with a new set of exercises--next level--which of course wiped me out and when I went home, I was in a lot of pain, took the pain pill, promptly fell asleep. But it's part of progress--I've noticed I could now ascend stairs in my home leading with either foot, which I could not do a few days previously.
A friend encouraged me to take pain medication before physiotherapy, but we can’t take controlled-substance pain pills before driving, so I had been trying to get off the controlled-substance pain pills so I could drive, but the increased pain levels meant I returned to those pills for night-time use so I could sleep, and then used milder pain medication (rather than nothing) before physiotherapy.
For years, I’ve been known as someone who walks fast and has a lot of energy. Not only is it frustrating and a new sensation to run out of energy quickly, but it’s also an adjustment mentally in planning—I have to break things into smaller packets—for instance, divide one day’s tasks into several days.
* No, I didn't cut myself shaving. It's an old family tradition--wearing toilet paper on my face to match my white shirt worn with the suit.
* I've decided that, because I want to lose weight, I'm not eating any more cake. Instead, I'm eating frosted fudge.
* Some women dye their hair, but my toupee is the same color as the day I bought it. One man showed me a picture of his date when they went to the zoo--I thought she'd had her hair frosted, but that was a yak. She was OK, too.
(Some people, after reading these jokes, considered that maybe the pain pills were too strong for me. One lady unintentionally punned when saying my jokes were lame—of course they are! I had knee surgery!)